Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
