how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
