She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize