so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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