Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize