wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
