I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
