you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Houston, we have a squirter
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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