somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
