yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My vagina is very pro this idea
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
