If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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