I could have mohawked her pubes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
