I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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