i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
