Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
