you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
