He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
