I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize