I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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