I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
