I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
