i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
