My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
