I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
