I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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