They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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