I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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