Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
