How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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