I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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