Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
