Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
