we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
