also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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