She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
