im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
