i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Still dying that you shit outside
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Randomize
