i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
