proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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