the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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