That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
