Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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