never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
