she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
