hotel room ftw
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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