seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
