She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
