That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
