There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
