Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
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