I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
