it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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