My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
there is puke in my bra ... again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
