I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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