the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
