i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
