I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
