I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
