I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
ttyl tear gas
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
