You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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