i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
