And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
