hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
