she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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