If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
