were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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