My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How's work?
Spinning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
