i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
