this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize