My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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