apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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