Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
